7w6d

To jab or not to jab. The German Medical Association is advising that pregnant women not get the vaccine that is currently available to us. I don't think this is the same vaccine that is being used for pregnant women in the US, so the arguments for and against are a bit different here. I think I'll put off the decision a little while longer.

http://clareswinney.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/german-medical-association-warns-against-giving-pandemrix-to-young-children-pregnant-women/

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1932366,00.html

7w5d

Still in the game. I was confident this morning, then a colleague brought her newborn to the office and I was sure the universe was going to punk me and show me what I couldn't have, then take it all away at the ultrasound appointment.

For now, the baby is fine. It's measuring 2 days behind, but that's not a big deal as there is always room for +/- a few days. The machines and the babies aren't that exact. My lovely doctor saw how freaked out I have been, so she brought me into another room and let me hear the heartbeat, something they don't usually do until 12-13 weeks. She also said that in normal circumstances, my next appointment should be in 4 weeks, but that she was willing to see me every week if that's what I want. I won't be quite that neurotic, but I will go back in 2 weeks instead of 4.

I can't quite exhale yet, but at least we are on our way. Thanks for all of the support - it really does help.

7w3d

It's been one week since the ultrasound, and it feels like it has been 3. I'm feeling less and less pregnant every day, which of course is a sign of nothing except that I'm obsessing and need to cut it out.

Martin is still optimistic, and he's been right about everything so far this round. I simply need to relax and listen to him. Easier said than done, eh?

Tomorrow I have bloodwork at the clinic to see whether I'm doing OK without any supplementation (yup, stopped the estrogen and progesterone last week). Wednesday we get to see the little one again. If everything is OK on Wednesday, we're going to share the news with Martin's grandparents and uncles at his dad's 60th birthday party on Saturday. He's giddy with the thought of it. I can't think past Wednesday.

7w0d

I'm working on trying to stay positive. I've googled and regoogled and there are plenty of women out there who have not a single twinge, cramp, craving, or urge and go on to have healthy babies. So why can't I be satisified with that? I actually considered showing up at my OB this morning to beg for an ultrasound so that I could sleep peacefully over the weekend.

Wednesday's ultrasound is so far off.

6w4d

Sending some love and sympathy to someone who's just landed where I've been too many times. It sucks.

6w3d

So far, so good! First ultrasound was this morning, and everything is perfect. Horst is measuring right on track and we easily saw the heartbeat. This is a big deal for us because we've never had a normal first ultrasound. The first round, we saw a heartbeat but the baby was measuring too small. The second round, we never made it to the ultrasound stage. Third round, the baby was measuring OK but the heartbeat was very hard to find.

Doc is optimistic, so we can be too. Official due date, June 11th. Official maternity leave, April 30th.

EDD #3

Today is the day we should have been bringing home baby #3. It's not quite the same this time as I mourned this one quite a bit on my birthday (which also should have been the first day of maternity leave). We also know that he had a genetic problem that is one of the most common causes of miscarriage, so there's nothing anyone could have done. Being pregnant also helps me look forward rather than dwell on what could have been.

One day I will make this site pretty...

 

I wanted something autumny, so this is what I get until I have the time to actually make a template.

One day, this site might look pretty. Until then, don't hold your breath.

 

Sugar Fix

 

I found Pop Tarts at the grocery store near my office today. I don't like Pop Tarts (maybe that's not fair because I've only ever tried them once) so it's not an issue, but those suckers cost €6.49 for a box of ten. That's nearly $10 American. Holy freaking crap.

However, I am willing to pay €4 for their Pepperidge Farm cookies...

 

Still rising!

 

Beta today at 3636: doubling time of 41 hours. Yeah!

 

Beta #2

 

274, doubling time of 38 hours. A new record for us!

 

Flyby Update

 

Beta came in at 75.

Repeat on Monday.