Thank You

I've been staying away, trying to keep my life as normal as possible. I'm trying not to wallow. (Wow, is that a good word. Like loaf or squiggle. Anyhoo.)

I just wanted to write a quick note to all of you - thank you for the words of encouragement. I've been reading all of your posts - all of them - and although I haven't commented, I'm still passively here, absorbing your posts.

I'm not sure that I'm going to post so often in the coming weeks. I'm getting my hopes up and trying to keep them under control at the same time... sitting and contemplating and then writing about it doesn't help in that effort.

In general, I'm to start snorting some chemical up my nose next Wednesday. I'll have a wonderful intimate wanding on April 18th, and I guess after that I get to learn how a syringe works.

This is all part of my Zen plan. I've read so many articles from medical journals and quite technical books about IVF that I feel I know why and in what order things happen. My doctor has read all of this and more, so now it's time to trust him and just go with the Flow. My obsession with all things fertility has waned, and now I'm happy to say yes sir when he tells me to inject some random vial into my butt.

I can't do any more. I think I'd know enough now to stand up for my reproductive self if I felt something was amiss, but I'm not going to constantly question why I snort while another lady shoots up. (I've been in contact with other ladies in my clinic via a very humorous forum - and I provide the humor with my hacked posts in a language I muddle through when speaking by mumbling through the important verb endings. I can't mumble in forum posts.)

So, that's that for a while. If anything important happens or I just need to vent, I'll be here to post. But even if you don't actually hear from me, know I'm still reading your posts and still very grateful that you've been reading mine.