Because You're The Daddy, That's Why

This guy really gets my blood pressure up. Kevin Martin, chairman of the FCC ladies and gentlemen:

"You can always turn the television off and of course block the channels you don’t want," he said, "but why should you have to?"

Let's apply this same rationale to home appliances: "I can always move the hairdryer out of the reach of the baby in the bathtub or simply unplug it, but why should I have to?" Answer to this problem - make all appliances that might possibly used in the vicinity of a bathtub have a non-optional safety lock, even for adult households.

Or the auto industry: "I can always buckle my child in a safety seat, but why should I have to?" Answer to this problem - all cars must travel at 5 miles per hour, have airbags pre-inflated, and a mandatory bubble wrap exterior.

How about the energy industry? "I can always put safety caps on electrical outlets, but why should I have to?" Now all outlets must be activated with a key code.

Why should you have to???? BECAUSE YOU'RE THE DADDY, THAT'S WHY.

Patchouli

Imagine the most uptight financial analyst at one of the most conservative banks in already conservative Hamburg. Got it? Early 30's, complete with grey wool overcoat, immaculate blond coif, shoes that cost more than my rent, Blackberry in hand?

That was the guy next to me on the train this morning, except that he reaked of patchouli. I'm certain he's not a patchouli kind of guy, so now I'm trying to imagine what his girlfriend looks like.

Germanness

Yeah, so we all know the stereotype about Germans liking their rules and regulations. If you come from the US, it's kinda true by comparison. Germans are well behaved and expect you to be, too. Most of the time, it's nice. And they don't always follow the rules; a quick glance at any public sidewalk clearly demonstrates the complete disregard for pooper-scooper rules.

But then, there are the sticklers. I hate the sticklers. I was bitched out tonight by a neighbor for taking the wrong fcking trash bags from the mailbox area. Yes, that's right - trash bags. We all get identical trash bags, one roll per apartment, all delivered on the same day. I picked up a roll, any roll, a single roll, without realizing that yes, in fact, there is a fcking procedure to the damn things. I picked up the wrong roll, while leaving my identical roll sitting there. Did you catch that? Identical. Trash bags. Angry yelling man.